Monday, April 19, 2010
CA1 composition
Lost.
My mind went blank. Tons of images flew past my mind as I shut my eyes. The room was cold; it was making me insane. I stared at the broken door and my bleeding hands. These scars could never heal.
Thirty pairs of eyes were glued on me. Noone dared to make a move. I had guesses all of them knew my dirty little secret. I know I needed to devise a plan to erase all suspicion they had on me before this information reached the teachers.
"Don't worry, it will be alright. Nothing is going to happen to us", he whispers in my ears. I had always been the decent girl i ought to be. Some might consider me a nerd for my work would be done and i had given my teachers the respect they deserved.
I was unlocking the gate and took off my shoes. My mother stared at me the whole time. "Anytime now" , I said to myself. I covered my ears as my mother unleashed her wrath. "Do you know what time it is?" , she shouted. I rushed to my brother's room and locked the door; a habit I could never outgrow. He just hugged me tightly and tried to appease me. My never-ending flow of tears wet his tee-shirt but he did not seem to mind. I was only an hour late as I had remedial classes. My mother was in control of everything we did. She became paranoid after Dad left us.
After a few days, I realised that my brother tend to return home late. There was a time that he did not come home for two days and this really worried me. I crawled in his room while he was not around, only finding a grey haversack. I peeped into it and to my horror, I saw bundles of cash and packets of white substance. Immediately I knew what it was. When I had ample courage, I went up to him and asked him what he was doing. i was filled with disapointment every time he denied everything. "What else are you hiding from me??" He just opened his mouth but nothing came out.
I began to be uncontrollable. As I listened to the urchins devising a plan to trick their form teacher, I heard that the class would be empty during recess. I seized the opportunity to steal some handphones that was left in my classmates' bags. My brother was watching me the whole time. "What have you become ?" , he said. He banged the door behind me. He did it with enough strength that parts of the door chipped off and pierced through my hands. I felt no pain as my heart was numb. "Who is this monster that I see?", i said. I had lost every inch of respect I had for others. I had completely lost myself...
Saturday, September 5, 2009
I lay my head on his chest, hearing his slow heartbeat. My tears were flowing with bleeding tears, I could feel my heart falling apart. I wished those moments would last. I saw all my thoughts exploding in thousands of pieces. Bitter sweet memories melted away.
"Don't worry about me", i whispered in his ear.
He looked at me with pitiful eyes. Those sparkling brown eyes. I could not stand the look on his face. I looked away and hid my bleeding wrists. I blocked his words with my hands on my ears. I could not believe what was going to happen. Those piercing words stabbed through me. I fell to the ground, holding back my tears. He held my hand and pulled me back. A hug you can never forget. I could feel his tears on my shoulder. How I wished i could heal his wounds, or even heal my own.
"I'm so sorry, baby" , he said.
It was such a beautiful day, with the clouds covering the blue sky. There was wind in my hair. It was the perfect time to go to the beach. I was the little girl dragging a big guy to the beach. People were staring blankly at me. I guess it was because the way i was dressed. I signify death and that is not the mood you bring to the beach. I wanted to spent every moment of my life with him. He held my hand, I held my head high. I could only be myself when i was with him. Why must this happen to him?
I closed my eyes and the flashbacks started. I was standing there, at the back of the room, right in the corner, where we first met. His perfect smile looking straight at me. When I came back to reality, I saw him not on his bed but lying on the floor.
"Help me!", i screamed at the top of my lungs.
His face was pale white as he lays on the hospital bed. I climbed on the bed, laying beside him. His heart was unsteady. There were doctors and nurses rushing in and out of the ward. My headache seemed to be getting worse.
"Please don't leave me" , i said under my breath, hoping he did not hear me but he did.
He smiled and looked me in the eyes. It was a gesture telling me everything was going to be alright, even though it was not. The doctors did everything they could but the cancer spread too fast. He was told he had a few months to live, but now, he was left with only hours. I was the only one he could spend his last minutes with. I was filled with regret, I wished I could have done something more for him.
He shed a tear and closed his eyes. Then, he took his last breath. The doctors pulled me out of the ward, for I was crying and screaming and i might disturb other patients. I watched them take his body and move it to the morgue.
I looked out the window, and i saw him. He looked at me with his chocolate brown eyes and flew up to heaven with his angel wings. It was a moment not to forget. As i wait for my death, for fate to find me, to join him one day. My heart still kept on beating.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
The Little Princess
(nothing about a princess . LOL)
not a true story . haha
"Little princess , you are not going to leave the house ! " , screamed my mother. I blocked out all the naggings and screaming. I just needed time on my own. I rushed out of the house , bringing my skateboard along. I thought it could make me relax a little .
I was the youngest of my family. Family and friends would call me 'little princess' . It all happened after playing a major role in a disney princess play. I did not like the name at all . I hated being called 'girly' .
Skateboarding had always been my passion. It started as a hobby. I picked up skateboarding at the age of twelve and found this sport to be really fun and entertaining. It was irritating as people would make fun of me for I am a girl. Skateboarding was mainly for guys. I did not stop skateboarding as i hoped to go "pro" one day and prove them wrong. There was a time i felt embarrassed. So many people were looking at me as I boarded the train. I kept my spirits up and ignored them.
I looked out the window. My friends was so lucky to have such a beautiful scenery.
"You can stay here for as long as you like" , he said .
"But you might have to pay the bills!" , he added . i just smiled .
i closed my eyes and thought deeply. I really want to go for this skateboading competition. My mother would never agree to that idea. She thinks that skateboarding is a dangerous and inappropiate for young ladies. I almost cried hearing every single word she is saying as she crushes my dreams of becoming a professional skater . I went to the competition , ignoring the feeling of guilt inside of me.
"Heres your number" , a guy in a black tee-shirt told me. The competition was going to start in ten minutes .
I had butterflies in my stomach as I approached the ramp. Everything looked so big except for the spectators that looked like ants. I calmed myself down and took a deep breath .
"Here I go!" , I said .
I flew down the ramp and shown a few tricks. The spectators were cheering so loudly that it gave me a lot of convidence. I did a major "high-balancing" trick and it blew the spectators out of their minds.
I clenched my fists and closed my eyes. My breathing slowed down as my heart beats fast. I knew there were no chance of me winning everything. There were so many better skaters than me. I stop worrying about whether I was going to win or not. I did gave my all.
Then I heard ,
"In second place , it is , Lilah!" , my heart jumped out of my chest. Tears of joy started running down my cheecks. I felt on top of the world.
Then i saw my mother and could'nt believe my eyes. I ran to her and gave her a big hug.
"Im proud of you , little princess!" , she said .
